Dairy of A wimpy kid – new year resolution part 1

Dairy of A wimpy kid – new year resolution part 1

Yes, am a wimpy kid. And it’s new year, January the first month of new year. We all know we should work on our “new year resolutions”.

Lemme tell you my day story because am a perfect kid 😁. I think I should help everyone improve this year.

New year’s day

You know how you’re supposed to come up with a list of “resolutions” at the Beginning of the new year to try to make yourself a better person?.

Well, the problem is it’s not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I’m already pretty much one of the best people I know 😂.

So, this year my resolution is to try to help OTHER people to improve. But the thing I’m finding out is that some people don’t really appreciate it when you’re trying to be helpful.

Wimpy kid approaches his neighbor for new resolution

Dairy of A wimpy kid – new year resolution part 1

I, wimpy kid said to my neighbor “I think you should work on chewing your crisps more quietly”.

One thing I noticed right off the bat is that the people in my family are doing a lousy job sticking to their new year’s resolutions.

Mom said she was gonna start going to the gym today, but she spent the whole afternoon watching TV.

And Dad said he was gonna go on a strict diet, but after dinner I caught him out in the garage, stuffing his face with brownies 😕.

Why is everyone not keeping to their new year resolutions?

Even my kid brother, Manny, couldn’t stick with his resolution.

This morning he told everyone that he’s a “big boy” and he’s giving up his pacifier for good. Then he threw his favorite binkie in the trash.

Well, THAT New year’s resolution didn’t even last a full MINUTE.

The only person in my family who didn’t come up with a resolution is my older brother, Rodrick, and that’s a pity because his list should be about a mile and a half long.

So I decided to come up with a programme to help Rodrick be a better person. I called my plan “Three strikes and you’re out”. The basic idea was that every time I saw Rodrick messing up, I’d mark a liitle “X” on his chart.

Guess what? Did Rodrick passed my test?

Well, Rodrick got all three strickes before I even had a chance to decide what “You’re out” meant 😢.

Anyway, I’m starting to wonder if I should just bag MY resolution, too. It’s a lot of work, and so far I haven’t really made any progress.

Besides, after I reminded Mom for like the billionth time to stop chewing her crisps so loud, she made a really good point. She said, “Everyone can’t be as perfect as YOU, Gregory.” And from what I’ve seen so far I think she’s right.

Thursday

Dad is giving this diet thing another try, and that’s bad news for me. He’s gone about three days without eating any chocolate, and he’s been SUPER cranky.

The other day, after Dad woke me up and told me to get ready for school, I accidentally fell back asleep. Believe me, that’s the last time I’ll make THAT mistake.

Part of the problem is that Dad always wakes me up before mom’s out of the shower, so I know that I still have like ten more minutes before I need to get out of the bed for real.

Yesterday I came up with a pretty good way to get some extra sleep time without making Dad mad. After he woke me up, I took all of my blankets down the hall with me and waited outside the bathroom for my turn in the shower.

Then I lay down right on top of the heater vent. And when the furnace was blowing, the experience was even BETTER than being in bed.

The problem was the heat only stayed on far about five minutes at a time. So when the furnace wasn’t running, I was just lying there on this cold piece of metal.

This morning

This morning, while I was waiting for my Mom to be done with her shower, I remembered someone gave her a bathrobe for Christmas. So I went into her closet and got it.

Let me just say that was one of the smartest moves I’ve ever made. Wearing that thing was like being wrapped in a big, fluffy towel that just came out of the dryer.

In fact, I liked it so much, I even wore it AFTER my shower. I think Dad might’ve been jealous HE didn’t come up with the robe idea first, because when I came to the kitchen table, he seemed extra grumpy.

I tell you, women have the right idea with this bathrobe thing. Now I’m wandering what ELSE I’m missing out on.

I’ll save my energy today, stay tuned because I’ll gist you about my next day. Dairy of A wimpy kid – new year resolution part 2 is coming soon here on storylineonline.

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